forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
