my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
