I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
