i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
