Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
