We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
