I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
