the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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