we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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