i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
