I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
