if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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