I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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