chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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