Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
