Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize