so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Boobs are out for the taking
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
