Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
