i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
