Who wears a wallet chain?!
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize