If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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