Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
