He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
