please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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