I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
