You work out of a Hotel?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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