I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
