is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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