idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Randomize
