It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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