I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
