The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
