fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
