im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
