I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
a search helicopter?!
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize