with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
