doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
