I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
