did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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