Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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