What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
either way he was missing a nipple.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
