Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
worst night to have a conscience
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize