Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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