Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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