I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
