HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
is wine microwaveable?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
