Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
