I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
