Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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