So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
