I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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