Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I'm going to jail i love you
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
