I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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