You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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