is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Randomize
