she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Are we still banned from the library?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
