When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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