come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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