kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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