The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
