TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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