I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
