Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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