I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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