Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize