is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
