When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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