so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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