you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
