dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
