do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
