if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize