using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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