What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize