Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
